Holy Lizard Brain!

In last week's blog, The Trauma-Go-Round, I talked about trauma and how the brain is designed to protect its person from danger at all costs. I discussed the overwhelming emotions that can surface when we are presented with situations that remind us of the traumatic events of our past.

The emotional outbursts that ensue are more commonly than not, completely subconscious reactions, and we are often left feeling bewildered by the magnitude of our responses.

Today, I want to explore a concept commonly referred to as the lizard brain, also known as the basal ganglia. It is the most primitive part of the brain and is responsible for our instinctual reactions to perceived threats. When we experience a traumatic event, our lizard brain kicks into high gear, preparing us for fight, flight, or freeze. And sometimes, the triggers that set off our lizard brains are things we wouldn't consciously associate with our trauma. All of this takes place before we have the chance to make rational decisions about the situation.

Have you ever put your hand under a running faucet and for a split second you thought the frigid water was actually boiling hot? You respond by pulling your hand away before you recognize that the water is in fact, cold. If your answer is, yes, which I imagine it is - that's your lizard brain in action. It is there to protect you from threats. In this situation, the water - potentially being hot enough to melt the skin off your fingers - is the treat.

There are many kinds of trauma triggers, and they can vary from person to person. A trigger might be an object that reminds us of the past; a smell, sound, or certain phrase; a facial expression or gesture; or even just being in the same place as when the trauma occurred. Our lizard brains recognize these triggers and respond accordingly, often without our conscious knowledge.

My trauma triggers were so invasive that I needed to seek therapy to learn to make sense of them. I was stuck in a world in which trusting anyone, including myself, was detrimental to my survival. Not only could I not trust anyone, the thought of doing so resulted in unavoidable anxiety and severe hypervigilance. I was constantly looking for confirmation that trust was dangerous.

The thought that I was being triggered by past traumas was a new concept for me to digest and I was convinced that the people around me had ulterior motives - ones that would scar me emotionally forever if I were to let my guard down. One night, a couple of years ago, my husband came home from work. When he walked in the door, he said "Hi". Now, the typical level-headed individual would reciprocate the welcome. I, on the other hand, went straight into lizard brain mode.

When arriving home from work, he often welcomed me with, "Hey, babe." Because, on this night, he had limited his welcome to two letters, I was, before I could reasonably think about it, convinced that something was wrong. He must have been mad at me about something. He didn't love me anymore and he was going to leave me, take the dogs and the house. I would end up alone forever.

Remember the emotional outburst I talked about in last week's blog? That is exactly what took place after my lizard brain decided I would end up alone and penniless. If you haven't read it yet, you can click on this link to catch up.

To work through my own triggers, I had to start by describing the emotions I felt and where in my body I felt them. Identifying the emotions eventually helped me to link the feelings to the associated trigger responses. Through years of therapy, I started to realize that most of my triggers stemmed from being sexually abused by my father at a young age. By sexually abusing me, my father was telling me that I was disposable. He was the person that was supposed to protect me, care for me, and love me. Instead, he betrayed my innocent body. As a result, I learned that the people that were supposed to protect me, care for me, and love me, do the exact opposite.

So, then it makes sense that the triggers manifested themselves in my marriage, as attempts to protect me from being hurt. I reacted to the "hi" with a trigger response because it stirred up those feelings of being disposable. It was a trauma that had been stored deep in my subconscious, waiting for any opportunity to flare up.

Doing the hard work to heal trauma is exhausting. I am not going to sugarcoat it. It downright sucks.

But it is worth it.

Recovering from trauma requires time, patience, and above all, self-compassion. Seeking therapy with a licensed trauma specialist can greatly facilitate the healing journey and yield remarkable benefits. Additionally, it is crucial to permit yourself to mourn the past, acknowledging the painful experiences that were undeserved and beyond your control, yet still impacted you profoundly.

It is also important to build a safe network of people around you that validate your feelings and support you in the healing process. Building a sense of security within yourself will help reduce triggers and help you move forward with self-acceptance, love, and compassion.

When I look back on my journey, I am proud of myself for having the courage to face my trauma. Through healing, I have become more resilient and self-aware. Most importantly, I have learned how to love myself again.

If you're struggling with trauma triggers, always remember that you are not alone and that there is hope. With the willingness to be vulnerable, you can heal and find peace.

Life doesn't have to be defined by trauma triggers; it can be filled with moments of pure joy and love. So take the time to listen to yourself, reach out for help, and begin the healing journey today. You are worth the hard work.